by Officer Wes, February 3, 2018
Wikipedia definition of (sexual) kink, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kink_(sexual):
In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of unconventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" (cf. a "kink") in one's sexual behaviour, to contrast such behaviour with "straight" or "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities. It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behaviour.
The leather/fetish/BDSM/kink community is composed of folk who approach and incorporate personal kinks into our lives and relationships. We acknowledge our heart's desires and unleash our spirit to explore and celebrate. For some, “leather” is a specific subset of the broader leather/fetish/kink community in which personal protocols incorporating respect and honor are common and wearing leather is appropriate.
Just about anything “from mild to wild.” Keep in mind that what goes on always depends on the two (or more) people involved and what they specifically are in to / open to / have agreed to. Here is a slew of possible ideas:
abrasion, animal roles (puppy, pony, etc.), ball torture & ball stretching, beating, biting, blindfolds, body worship, bondage, boot worship, branding, breath control, buttplugs, cages & cells, caning, catheterization, chains, chastity, clothespins, cock torture, cock worship, collars, cowboys & cowgirls, cuttings, dildos, electricity, enemas, fire play, fisting (anal & vaginal), haircuts (flat-tops, Marine high-n-tights, etc.), flogging, foot worship, fucking, gags, gas masks, glove play, group scenes, handcuffs, harnesses, hoods, ice cubes, interrogations, kidnapping, kneeling, latex clothing, leather clothing, manacles & irons, marks / bruises, medical scenes, military scenes (Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines), motorcycles, mummification, obedience, pain, piercing (temporary & permanent), prison scenes, rape fantasy, rituals, rope, rubber clothing, scent worship (musk in groin & armpits for example), sensory deprivation, service / serving, sex, shaving, sleepsacks, sounds (metal urethral or vaginal rods), spanking, spirituality, spitting, straight jackets, sucking / "going down", surrender, suspension, tickling, tit clamps, tongue bath / tongue worship, uniforms (police, military, delivery man, etc.), verbal humiliation, voting to protect one's freedom of expression (including sexual and spiritual expression), water sports, wax (hot, dripping), whipping, wrestling
· Top/bottom – describes the doer and the done-to
Dominant/submissive ("D/s") – a power
Of note: Submissives can choose to whom to offer their submission. They do not have to be submissive to all Doms
· Daddy/boy (&"boi") -- a D/s relationship where often the boy has some input
· pup/Handler – generally a playful relationship
· Master/slave -- a control/obedience relationship where the slave strives to conform to the Master's will
· Polyamorous ("poly") -- multi-member families
· The Nine Degrees Of Submission can help discern between nuances of submission
1. Acknowledging and acting on one’s kinks can be a coming out process.
2. Google also “The Good of BDSM -- benefits we get from having edgy, sexy play.”
3. Recovery issues as well as kinky? There's an open AA meeting for Leatherfolk called "Sober Minded Leatherfolk" on Fridays at 8pm at the gay & lesbian Alano Club, 1730 Monroe Ave
4. Looking for a Kink-Aware Professional (therapist, lawyer, etc.)? Check out the Kink Aware Professionals directory at www.ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals-directory/kap-directory-homepage If you are a kink-aware professional yourself you can list or update your information there as well.
This presentation has been given, in various forms, to kink, kink-curious and kink-supportive audiences including therapists and students since 2003, including:
· The Symposium on Therapy and Alt-Sexuality: Kink & Ethical Polyamory at the Center for Community Counseling & Engagement of the University of California San Diego, February 3, 2018
· A presentation on BDSM Culture for Human Sexual Behaviors class at Mesa College, May 3, 2011
· As a longer Leather 101 presentation for San Diego League of Gentlemen, October 1, 2010
· SM102 presentation assisted by slave jay for a Club X Mental Health Forum designed to nurture some Kink Aware Professionals locally, April 28, 2006. This presentation focused on the why of leather (authenticity, surrender, bliss); and also issues that therapists might see in their clinical practice. slave jay also sat on the submissives' panel.
· As a longer Leather 101 presentation for San Diego League of Gentlemen, September 24, 2003
Officer Wes has been presenting on a variety of fun kink topics for 25 years. His experiences and viewpoints have appeared in many publications including USA Today and The Advocate. He is credited as an influence in the books "Protocol Handbook for the Leather Slave" and "Master/slave Relations." His Web sites on sexuality, health and kink have been visited by over a million people. He was an inaugural mentor for SAADE, a formal mentoring program for new dominants that instructs its apprentices not only in physical SM practices but on the mental, emotional and spiritual dynamics of BDSM as well. Officer Wes has an open leather family built around shared values of respect, honor, trust, and love. He has a slave and dogslave and is himself in service to a Daddy. Resources and information at www.officerwes.com
© 2003-2018 by Officer Wes